[INTERVIEW] Let's talk about sex with Myne Whitman

 Myne Whitman is a Nigerian US-based writer and blogger. She currently manages Romancemeetslife.com - a relationship blog that is focused on helping African couples to improve their relationships. She spoke to HealthNewsNG on the subject of sex, pornography and homosexuality.

HealthNewsNG: To some writers, writing is a means of reaching a larger audience while to others, it's a way of getting food on the table. What does writing mean to Myne, when and how did you start writing?

Myne Whitman: I started writing as a teenager as a way to get the stories in my head out for others to share in. I started writing commercially more recently as a way to reach a larger audience while also making some money.

I've seen your name (or by line) on several projects, which one is your favorite?  

Romancemeetslife.com is where most of my attention goes for now. I also manage Naijastories.com, which is my other pet project to take Nigerian fiction to the masses.

Why did you decide to venture into sexual health?

I've always been interested in the topic of sex as it affects out health. I read a lof of books as a child, both local and foreign and it didn't take long to realize that this sex I read in books was rarely talked about by those around me. Being that I can something be a rebel, I decided that I would be the type that talked about sex as an adult.

There's an unwritten law that outlaws public discussion on the subject of sex in this part of the world. How is it affecting our sexual health?

AIDS became a huge deal after I just entered secondary school. It captured my interest, and from then, and until I finished university, I campaigned for the control and prevention of HIV/AIDS and other STIs through education and empowerment of young people. These diseases continue to be a problem for Africans because of lack of knowledge and awareness.

Which generation had the best sex life - ours or our forefathers? Why is this so?

I wasn't there at the time of our fore-fathers so I couldn't really say. But the fattening rooms of time past is also said to be venues to teach young women how they can enjoy sex with their husbands so they probably had it good. Today, some of that culture has been lost as some people have perverted religion to serve their own needs to control everyone.

What's your take on pornography?

Pornography can be useful or it can be degrading also. Where it is used as instruction to novice couples, or an accessory to enjoying sex, it is very welcome. However, some go all the way to other extreme, promoting lifestyles that are detrimental to physical and mental health.

You recently responded to a pastor who described oral sex as unholy. This brings to the forefront the issue of religion and faiths as they affect our sex lives. Where should the line be drawn?

Each individual will have to determine for themselves where to draw that line, and that was the point of my response to that pastor.

Recently, Nigerian lawmakers passed a law banning homosexuality in Nigeria. Two years ago, I published a story on a gay advocate in Uganda. Few days later, he was brutally murdered. Why do you think Africa is yet to come to terms with the fact that gays are here already?

Again it refers to a few influential people using their positions to try to force the rest of us to do what they like. NOT what the law says, nor what the tradition shows. There have been gay people in Africa for as long as people can tell.

What's your take on homosexuality?

Each person should have the right to live their sexual life in the manner that suits them as long as it does not infringe on others' rights.

How can couples improve their sex lives?

I've written a couple of articles on my blog about this, both for men and for women. Enjoying sex begins in the mind and head. People should shed the prudish mannerisms that prevent them from fully enjoying sex.

You usually suggest that lovers should discuss what they do in bed with their partners. Won't that erode away the intrigues of sexual surprises?

Not all. Some surprises end up badly because the person did not expect it and they hated the idea. The best way to do sex is to be open and share your needs and desires.

When is the right age for a male child to start having sex, what of the female child?

I cannot be the judge of that, but the parents of that child and the child too. I'm of the opinion that one should finish university or be 21, whichever comes later, before they start romantic dating. Before then, they can have friends of  both genders and concentrate on their studies and getting to know themselves and what they want for their future.

With the society fast becoming a horny one, do you think virgins are still available?

Where are they, and how can their number be increased in our sex-charged society? There are virgins everywhere, even at 40 some men and women are still virgins. I don't know where people get the idea that they're decreasing. That one talks about sex does not mean they're horny, sex-charged or promiscuous, it just means you're better informed. And always one who has more information can make better decisions.